Waiting on God’s timing

As I sit here in my office and write this there are a flood of things going on in my heart. Over the last couple weeks God has totally began to piece together the scrambled puzzle that was my life. Everything from my pain of not growing up with my dad to my call to ministry. It’s like I can see with new eyes. Before I was very frustrated by having to wait on God and His time table. What I have come to realize it that God’s timing is His mercy. I am totally convinced that had I gone into ministry anytime before now, that many people would have been hurt by the pain I was caring around.

 
Now I sit here and sense God speaking to me about a church and connecting with other ministries, and men, and families, etc. and at the same time know that the timing is not quite there yet. But that’s okay! I am full in the fact that God IS in complete control and His timing is perfect!! Not only that but I know there are still things that He is teaching me and wants me to do before He releases me.

 
What an amazing thought that God’s timing is His mercy and grace to us. I am so certain that had I gone into the ministry in the past that I would have hurt a lot of people. Mainly because I was still hurting myself and hadn’t allowed God to heal me. However, now I sense more of a training time taking place in my life. Almost like a staging area. Like God is getting me ready or dressed for the part. It’s quite an amazing feeling as I have been able to in the last couple of weeks to heal, forgive, repent, grow, and press on. Am I where I want to be? No. But I am still walking. I used to get so mad at myself because I wasn’t “Mr. Perfect Christian,” but today I just live in the mercy, grace, and love of God.

 
I am so caught up in the fact that God pursued me. He sought me out. He desires me!! That is just awesome! I am in His rest for the first time in a long time. I can see clearly. I can hear Him speaking to me. I sense His closeness and His desire to have a relationship with me. I can see where He has taken me and what He has done in the past to care for, love, and protect me. I am humbled. I am broken.

 
For now I look forward to what He has but I also look around to see what He is doing around me so that I can work with Him. I’m learning and growing. I’m also beginning to see that perfect love, the perfect love of the Father drives away ALL fear. Fear of being unloved, forgotten, lost, hurt, broken, etc. My prayer is that Jesus would be glorified in Baton Rouge through His people but also in the lives of those who read this blog. In the lives of those leaders whom I know, are getting to know, and those that I look to for leadership. My prayer is that America would be awakened to the fact that Jesus is here and ANYTHING can happen. Until next time.

Love….the greatest of all,
Shawn